


Tired Of Keeping Secrets

by bugaboo



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akuma Attack, Alya Césaire Knows, Confident Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Crying, Episode: s03 Chat Blanc, F/F, F/M, Fear, Hurt Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Hurt Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Identity Reveal, Lila Rossi Lies, Lila Rossi's Lies Are Exposed, Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug Identity Reveal, Miraculous Team, Post-Reveal Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Protective Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir, Protective Alya Césaire, Secrets, Video
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:21:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23343889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugaboo/pseuds/bugaboo
Summary: Marinette has a nightmare... Again. Alya wakes her up, asking what's happening. What Marinette does, Alya could never expect.The truth is painful. But it becomes more painful when Marinette tells everything... During an Akuma attack.Or when everything happens so fast and nobody can predict Marinette's next moves.
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire & Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug, Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe, Chloé Bourgeois/Alix Kubdel
Comments: 15
Kudos: 228





	Tired Of Keeping Secrets

"Guardian... Guardian..."

"Ladybug... Ladybug, Lady-..."

"Let me try, Trixx. Ladybug! Ladybug, wake up! Ladybug!" Tikki whispers. She tried to wake up her chosen. 

"What's going on?" When Tikki, Trixx, and Mullo hear the voice, they immediately hide. Alya looks at her best friend. She's shaking and crying in her sleep. "Ah, girl, wake up." Alya shakes Marinette's shoulders. Marinette opens her eyes with a scream. Then she starts to sob and cry heavily. Alya hugs her tightly, playing with her hair.

"What happened? Was it a nightmare... Again?" Marinette cries... And cries. Alya tries to calm her.

It is dangerous to be so emotional. Especially after HawkMoth started trying to akumatize every possible person. And especially after the Akuma victims began more and more violent. Alya learned about that when Ladybug came to her and gave her Miraculous permanently. She said that they need every possible help. That happened two months after HawkMoth found out her identity along with Carapace's, Viperion's... and everyone excludes Ladybug and Chat Noir. That happened one month after Lila was exposed... That happened two weeks after the cure stopped to cure Ladybug's injuries. That happened two days after Ladybug got injured... really badly, but nobody knows what actually happened. She was with four Miraculous at once that day and the Akuma attacked her many times. And Ladybug took blows many times. She was still recovering when Alya received her Miraculous. And Alya received her Miraculous two months ago.

"Okay. Calm down. You need to calm down if you don't want to get akumatized. It's okay to be sad, but you have been crying for the last half an hour and I start getting really worried about you. Please, Marinette, talk with me. I know you need it. Was it the nightmare with Lila again?" Alya erases 'Nette's tears from her face. Looking at her face, Alya sees the answer - No. "I am here, Marinette. You can always share with me everything, you know?"

"N-No, I-I can't." Marinette steps back, standing. Alya stands too, stepping in her direction, but Marinette stops her.

"Why? What is this thing that you can't tell anybody! What is it, Marinette? On every sleepover last two months you have nightmares! And I am sure that you slept today for the first time in the last two weeks! Marinette, I can see you - there's something that eats you inside... No, it destroys you inside, it kills you and you can't even tell me! Marinette, I am your best friend, I want to help you, but I can't because I don't know what is it and how can I help! I am feeling useless and like a really bad friend, because I can't find out what's happening with you. Because you don't want me to know." Alya says, looking at her best friend worriedly. "I know it's not Lila's nightmare. I know that you have never dreamt of this nightmare. I decided to close my eyes because I know it's hard to talk about it. But that, Marinette, goes out of...-" Marinette sobs. Her knees hit the ground, her left hand is on her chest and looks like she's protecting herself from something. Her right hand is on her mouth, trying to stop the next sob. No success. The bluenette hyperventilates. "Oh, My God, Marinette!" Alya screams squatting in front of her. "Okay, girl, breathe with me, okay. Inhale... One, two, three, exhale, Inhale... Okay, you're doing well, continue. Inhale..."

It has been an hour since Marinette got a panic attack. Now, the girl cries in her best friend's hug quietly. Marinette needs it. Alya knows. Alya knows that her best friend will tell her when she's ready.

"Alya, I am so sorry! I'm so sorry I ruined our night... Again. I'm so sorry I c-can't tell you! I'm so sorry that I am so scared t-to tell you! Alya, I'm so sorry!" Marinette doesn't dare to look Alya in the eyes. She doesn't know what will she see - love, hatred, disappointment, worry... She doesn't know.

"Don't be! I understand. See, I really want to help you, but I can't when I don't know what is it. But that's okay, I will wait. When you're ready, you will tell me. I know!"

"Remember when I refused to come with you and the girls to the pool three weeks ago?" Alya nodded. "Or when you offered me to ride a bike the same week? And I shout at you with 'No'? Or when I told you I have to help my parents with the bakery and you came and found me lying on the floor, staring at the ceiling, all in tears?" Alya has some tears on her face, because of the memory. Marinette was so ruined and out of everything. Alya wasn't sure if Marinette remembers everything, but didn't dare to ask. "Or when Kim hugged me because I helped him and I yelled at him? Ah, that was a cauchemar ( nightmare )! Do you remember when you asked me why I am wearing winter clothes, even when outside is so warm? Or, do you remember a week ago when We were hanging out with Nino and Adrien at home, and you wanted to play "Taking off" and I got mad at you all and went crying in the bathroom? And ruined everything... Like ever... Do you remember, Alya?" Marinette finally looks at Alya, but that's a mistake. Her best friend is crying along with her. "Do you really want to know, Alya?"

At first, Alya is speechless, so she nods. Then she nods again.

"Yes, Marinette, I do want to know what's happening. It doesn't matter how serious or bad is it, I am here for and with you." After a couple of seconds, Alya says.

Marinette stands up, immediately missing hug's warm. Alya is confused.

_'Alya has seen me a million and more times only in underwear... But that's hard... And really different.'_

Marinette takes off her pajama top, and then pants, showing Alya her body... But not skin. Her stomach, her chest, her hips, they are all in a bandage somewhere there's blood, somewhere there's not. The skin that is not covered, has millions of scars. Alya sighs in horror and covers her mouth with her hands.

"W-What happened?" Alya touches delicately one of the worst visible scars.

"I-I can't believe I am telling you..." Marinette sobs. "I took a hit for Chat."

"You... Y-You what?" Alya doesn't wait for an answer and pints another one.

"The Akuma tried to get to you, but I stopped it and I was thrown in the air. I crashed badly." Alta can't believe.

"B-But when did this happen? I-I don't understand anything!" Alya looks at Marinette's face but she stares in the ceiling. Her face is wet. Alya's too.

"The last time Lila was akumatized."

"I-I don't..." Alya stops when Marinette removes the bandage on her left hip.

"Yesterday. I was studying its powers when the Akuma attacked Chat, who was in front of me. You and Nino weren't at that moment with us, so you maybe don't know about that. If I were a second slower Chat... It was... He would..." Marinette covers her mouth trying to stop the sob. "He would die, Alya! and that's not the only case. I remember everything - every hit someone of you took, every last second saving from dead, every A-Akuma..."

"You... Y-You are... No! That can't be true. Everything... You... No!" Alya shakes her head. "T-This... This isn't happening. I-It... It shouldn't be! You... You are Lady...bug..." Alya sobs, standing up.

_'Everything... Every little thing that happened to Ladybug happened to M-Marinette at the same time... And every little thing that happened to Marinette, i-it...'_

"Does Chat know?" Alya looks at her friend. "When?"

"He's my kitty, of course, he knows... The first time I was badly injured. Media doesn't know, civilians don't know, nobody knows what really happened then... exclude us. We know. I ... I-I was badly injured. If... If it wasn't him, I could... I could..."

She hugs her best friend. Marinette collapses in her hands. It's too much.

"Now, I know, you can tell me, I know." Alya caresses her head. The two girls crying. It's just... It's just new and... too much.

"Chat... Chat Noir was akumatized..."

'What the... When? Why? W-What?'

"H-He... Bunnix came and sent me in the... In the future. Paris was destroyed. It was only him. H-He wanted my miraculous. He knew who am I and I-I... I had to fight with him. I don't know what happened... I don't want to know... I just... Alya, my kitty was akumatized. He was..." Marinette hides her face in Alya's neck, sobbing. She's shacking. She's scared. She just can't. Alya can feel it. Alya feels her pain, Alya feels her fear, Alya feels her. She understands her.

"It's okay, it's okay. If you can't say it, you don't need to. I will wait until you are ready. It's okay." Alya delicately says, letting the bluenette cry everything out.

An hour later, Marinette takes a nap in Alya's hug. She's exhausted. She doesn't know what is she supposed to do. She's scared. But the most she's tired - tired of fighting. Tired of taking hits. Tired of being in pain. Tired of keeping secrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Actually my idea was completely different, but I think this is better!  
> I hope you enjoyed your reading! Please, leave a comment with your opinion or some advice and a Kudos!  
> I will post the next chapter tomorrow!  
> Sorry for the mistakes!  
> Have a nice day and night!  
> Bugabye! <3


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